photo by Annie Sturgis
This week is going to have a bit of a history lesson attached! Woo hoo! ( I really liked history in school) Today for the second new rule of weddings we are going to be talking about who pays?
Traditionally the brides parents pay for the wedding. Most likely this tradtion came from waayy back in the day when girl’s fathers would pay a dowry. Now you may also think that those days are long gone. But in reality it is still common practice in the South East Asian part of our world.
Now you may ask why would anyone pay the grooms family for their daughter to get married and well it was to prove that she was not just after his land and sheep! Although that may sound odd, these were also times when livestock was valuable and if your boyfriend had a lot of sheep well… your motives could be called into question. So now today, as you can see it is a practice that is still going on, although not with the same elements. Traditionally the girl’s parents have paid for most things at the wedding.
Which brings us to… Rule #2: Who pays?
In the eternal words of Bob Dylan ” these times they are a changin” and as people are getting married at an average age of 26 (for women), you are in a totally different stage of life, compared to years ago when girls were getting married at 16, 17, 19, 20. People are waiting longer to get married, and with that age going up you, well, are growing up! At 18 years old you don’t have a real job or anyway to support yourselves after you get married so of course someone else needs to help you pay.
The answer to the question of who pays is no longer such an easy black and white answer. For most brides, at an average age of 26ish, they more than likely have a real job and probably even a place of their own. So, you don’t really need your parents to support you financially in your endeavors, although it can be nice. Yes, some parents will want to pay for it all and that’s okay. Others can’t always help out all that much and that’s okay. You just need to sit down with your fiance and talk about what you can and cannot afford on your own and decide if you want to ask for help or just plan the wedding you can afford on your own.
xoxo, Kasey& The Bliss Girls